Discernment

(Vanessa and her kids on Family picture day last Friday)

Ephesians 5:1-2 Be imitators (copycats) of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and LIVE A LIFE OF LOVE, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Living a life of love is a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Usually my blog updates consist of updates in the ministry, but this is the deeper issue of everything I do and the constant struggle.

Living a life of love is not the struggle, that comes easily, but understanding what is the right way to show love, is the struggle. The follow-up verse to this is Philippians 2:9-11. “And this is my prayer: that your LOVE may about more and more in KNOWLEDGE AND DEPTH OF INSIGHT, SO THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO DISCERN WHAT IS BEST, and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God.”

There is one family in the ministry that we struggle with constantly: Vanessa and her three kids, Gabriel, Javier, and Racsel. I mention them often because they are in the most need. As you know Javier has not been at the daycare since July because of his violent behavior towards the other children and teachers. It was not safe for the other kids and we recommended a few psychologists for Vanessa to bring him to see. However, within the past few weeks, we have noticed Javier (4 years old) unattended in the streets, very dirty, with older boys and talking about and doing bad things. We planned to have him come back in January, but given the lack of supervision by his mother, we are hoping to have him back next week. Last week he had a scab on his nose and yesterday he had a cut on his head. On the weekends he and his 5-year-old brother (Gabriel) are out on the streets late into the night. They came to one of the teacher’s houses banging on the door asking for food; she said they were filthy. In the daycare, Gabriel has started hitting the kids (with us watching) for no reason at all. He does not have violent outbursts like his brother, but its’ not safe for the other kids to be around him. The space is not big enough to keep him separated from the other kids, but punishment and revoking privileges does not change his behavior. Both Racsel and Gabriel try to steal the toys in their pockets and then lie constantly. We discuss this on a daily basis with Vanessa, but things seem to get worse.

(Javier)

This is where I am struggling with discerning what is best. I am here to love the kids and Vanessa, but what is healthy. At this point, what I WANT to do is try to find a better situation for the kids, somehow. But that is not the right kind of love for Vanessa. I don’t want to enable her not to take responsibility for her children, but at the same time I don’t want her kids to continue to be in this situation. How do you teach someone to care about her children? I discussed with a friend about finding a psychologist, but that requires time and commitment, which she has chosen not to have for her children. So it’s a continual prayer for discernment in the situation. This is a condensed version of the situation, so pray for every individual in this family and situation.

One encouraging moment that came out of this situation yesterday was the opportunity I had with one of the other children. Because of Gabriel’s behavior, Mari, the new 6 year old, was crying and wanted to go home. We called her mom, but she could not come pick her up. Instead of naptime, I let her sit in the office with me and color. After coloring a while she walked to the bookshelf and picked up the Children’s Bible. I had an hour to talk with her and read Bible stories. She said she goes to church, but the kids sit in the front rows, the adults behind them, and there are not Bible stories (at least in the eyes of a 6 year old). I asked if she had a Bible at home, and she said no. So I started to read to her because she had never heard the stories. When I finished 5-6 stories from Genesis, she said, “Keep reading, I want to color while you keep reading.” She was very patient and looked up for all the pictures. I’m glad I had that time with her; it was a sweet moment.

My last update was on the face of a girl we saw last night. There is a song in Spanish that sums up what we saw; it was a humbling moment. We had some left over food from Thanksgiving that was about to go bad. I had the rolls in my car all day looking for some kids to give it to, but I hadn’t past any and it was getting late. At about 10pm another friend came over and said, well we have this cake too, lets go find someone to give it to. So I told them the intersection where I usually see kids in the street and we went there. When I see these little kids in the streets, I always think of Javier (my little 4 year old, Vanessa’s son). We saw a mom and little baby when we got to the intersection, but when we got turned around to get to them, it was only a 6 or 7 year old boy, helping park cars. We gave him the bread and he showed it to the mom and baby who were across the main road. She came running to the car, and then we realized she only looked 13 or 14 years old and the baby (under a year) had a runny nose and they were all really dirty. We got to give her the bread and cake and she was so happy and thankful. It was a quiet ride home; we were all silenced by the situation. Many times when you give out food here people do not show their thankfulness like this girl did. It automatically made me think of the Spanish song by Jesus Adrian Romero, “Yesterday I saw you.” One of the verses says:

Yesterday I saw you. It was clearer than the moon. Without a doubt it was a clear vision that made my heart jump when I saw you.I saw you in a street kid, without a place to sleep, with her hands extended asking for bread to live, with pleading eyes, and in her hesitant smile. Yesterday I saw you.